[texting repository] bc not everything's gotta be action

[hackitudes]

gen texts
spicy sexts
crack...
idc go wild

Comments

felicia - tfln

[declaw]

1. You've reached Julie Newmar...... leave your message after the beep.
2. Hey! My advice may not be the best, but at least it makes life more fun.
3. Get your costume on, we're going out tonight. I will not accept anything other than a yes.
4. Can you believe the amount of things I get away with flashing a little cleavage? O:-)
5. What do you call a cat who lives in an igloo? An eskimew.

4

[radioactivities]

Uhhhhhhhh

[ He's on stake-out when he gets this, hating to admit it's been a slow night. Worse yet, nobody's here to tell him "Think clean thoughts, chum." ]

Don't. Even. Start.

[declaw]

[ And does it matter to her? She's gotten worse drunk texts from him insisting that the monkey paw theory is legit. ]

I'm just pointing out the obvious that my toolkit is not limited to my burgle kit. Which, BTW, a stupid word. Burgle.

Are you mad you're thinking about said cleavage?

5

[clubbings]

Isn't low-hanging fruit like this more Spider-Man's wheelhouse?

[ Never mind how much he's smiling at the ridiculousness of the pun... ]

I will say this, Cat.

If the devil ever loses his hair, there'd be hell toupee.

[declaw]

Guy wears off on you. There's reasons why we're on-again-off-again.

[ Like Matt hasn't turned his quip-meter up a few notches after teaming with the webhead... Either way – he matches her for the pun and she's left rolling her eyes almost completely out of her head. ]

I didn't know this was a duet. You really wanna go toe-to-toe?

ann - tfln

[burglarize]

1. YOU PROMISED!!! You even pinky swore!
2. If I have to hear a "pussywhipped" joke one more time...
3. Okay, forget the study session. New plan. Buffet and Brains - it's like we reward ourselves for acing our practice tests with stuffing our faces. I'm tooootally going to trademark it.
4. I can't go out – I ran out of foundation and I refuse to be seen like this.
5. I have a treasure map and there's a 50% chance it leads riiiight into your pants. ;)

5

[hackitudes]

Okay, but who gave it to you? Is it a trustworthy source?

Gotta tell you, Ann... misinformation's everywhere these days. Damn.

[ He's very committed to the bit and clearly too pleased with himself. ]

[burglarize]

[ She heard this on a TV show and wanted to try it. Just, y'know, for fun? She always has to up her game going against the boy wonder over there. ]

Maybe I found it? Locked away deep within a palace. Hmmmmmmmmm. Maybe my sources are accurate! Be optimistic!

dick - tfln

[brightknight]

1. Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it says 'the titantic is syncing.'
2. I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
3. According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
4. i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
5. at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms

@carts

[brightknight]

( continued from here. )

Now when's that ever stopped you?

How about I promise I'll only get a little mad. If that.

[carts]

Fine, fine. I trust you.

I kind of had some old materia orbs laying around? A few of the ones you brought me a few months ago. Not the really important ones – just the ones that lost their power? I'm not a collector of mystic artifacts, but... I'm pretty sure they were just heavy paperweights!

jason - tfln

[degenesis]

1. I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix
2. For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
3. You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
4. Apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
5. I refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"

@bandages

[degenesis]

( continued from here. )

whoa, stop the world. that's a very kinky request. you still plan to eat it after that?

you're braver than me.

[ he's so entertained by this, she doesn't even KNOW ]

i'm getting you a #4 either way. you seem hangry.

trust me, i'd know.

[bandages]

you fucking wish.

[ When Kainé is use to being the loudest mouth and smartest attitude in the room... she's met her match here, maybe??? ]

it's not even anything to do with hunger. you got my stuff, I want it. simple as that, no other way to slice it. and trust me, I know hundreds of ways to.

@rasberry

[degenesis]

( continued from here. )

Which one? Got a lot to choose from.

Look, I can't control the path of destruction that seems to follow me around everywhere. At least I can promise there won't be a dull moment.

[rasberry]

I'll let you figure it out.

Dull moment... You call the shootout on the upper plates last time we hooked up fun?! I lost my favorite backpack up there. :(

tim - tfln

[hackitudes]

1. At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
2. seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
3. I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate message, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
4. Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
5. Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.

mark - tfln

[notvincible]

1. why do you keep sending me messages that end with #mindfulness.
2. HEY! worst possible superpower to have— go!
3. when you're ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, call me. I'll support you in that.
4. Feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Fiat or a Mini Cooper or something.
5. Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours.

@carts

[notvincible]

( continued from here. )

Ever heard of a productive caffeine overdose??

...Me neither.

I'm really screwed, aren't I. Maybe a crimefighting kinda all-nighter is in order.

[carts]

Do you want a percentage or a number ranking on the screw scale?

peter b. - tfln

[bgrade]

1. If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
2. I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
3. thanks to a poorly written text a whole bunch of people thought i died last night
4. Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
5. you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.

eddie - tfln

[primevil]

1. we can eat our weight in tater tots. don't test us, bitch.
2. tony hawks moving castle
3. bro we rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit us
4. we must be in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
5. we're, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs

logan - tfln

[fatalclaw]

1. On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have to teach in an hour.
2. you know what they say, panicking burns a shit ton of calories.
3. i'm going to stab him in the face. don't try to talk me out of it.
4. Why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan?
5. It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.

bruce - tfln

[waging]

1. This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
2. ...and don’t worry, I’m not mad. I’m just angry, and furious.
3. You went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I don't know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
4. Of course I’m ready for summer. I’ve indexed my Hawaiian shirts.
5. I've started three bar fights so far. It's been a great night.

hal - tfln

[ringcapacity]

1. I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell.”
2. Wait hang on I can send you a better haiku, give me chance here
3. I can't believe they made a group text to scream to me about Costco.
4. so you e-mailed me a total of 64 kama sutra positions you wanna try with me over the weekend. appreciate the over-confidence in my stamina and flexibility.
5. i can now check off being worshipped by a murderous cult from my superhero bingo card.