gourmetburgers | [texting repository] bc not everything's gotta be action

No attention is burgled! Jeeeez.

I'm not an artist, got a C in my elective in college. I just like to facilitate and ensure all parties are mutually benefitted. Not burgled.

[ She sends a spam of angel halo emojis after. ]

Not the first time you've been all alone "at work" and me stuck here. I'd join you, but I don't drink and swing. How long have you been out, Peter?

Well you’re burgling mine now. But again! Not complaining.

I can think of a few benefits worth reciprocating after this. Btw it’s been like, two hours of me pillaging warehouses, interrogating goons, and locating Hammerhead.

[ It occurs to him to leave a spider-tracer on Hammerhead if nothing continues to happen. No clandestine meeting with a new partner that Peter’s supposed to be looking out for... at least not yet.

If duty calls elsewhere, like a giant dragon rampaging through the city for a chocolate egg, Peter just might whip it out.

The spider-tracer, that is. ]

Why do you ask?

Good. I'll screenshot this for future reference.

[ Screencapping all the boys, it's fine. ]

Oooooh, don't tell me you're offering free Uber now with your little Wall Wagon. [ She had to go there. This is what was fun, back and forth. Always pressing the boundaries on annoying, flirty, serious, or good fun. Felicia didn't like being figured out, even drunk apparently. ] Just curious. Maybe a tiny bit hurt you didn't invite me.

Edited 2021-05-29 05:45 (UTC)

Worried I’ll forget? 10 coffee dates so far and I haven’t missed a single one!

[ Some coffee dates have been longer than others. Protracted, that is, by Peter dealing with the subsequent effects of the stronger stuff. ]

So as long as it’s free you’ll actually ride along in that thing? ‘Cause I will bring it out.

Oh, and trust me. You’re not missing much. Unless you really think Hammerhead wandering his office like the town drunk is worth watching.

How about I invite you when it’s not a snooze fest?

9 coffee dates and 1 sushi. Don't think I forgot about you rearranging because someone didn't eat before their night on the town.

[ Literally hate you. ]

Please don't. You're ruining my street cred every time. "Oh, didn't Black Cat use to hook up with the nerd driving on the wall?"

C'mon, you know I can make even the most boring of things fun. Instead of me getting friendly with the bottom of a glass of wine, we could have been quipping together during said snooze fest. Tsk, tsk, you really do make poor choices sometimes!

I was spread pretty thin that day, alright? Also had to spend an hour convincing Venom not to third wheel us.

Never knew how much the symbiote loves wasabi...

[ Well, there's some movement. No, wait. Hammerhead's just... sitting at his desk. Oh, he's curling up over crossed arms on the table and. Okay. Damn. He's falling asleep. ]

Tell you what, Cat. Why don't I level with you here?

I'll need to leave a tracer on Hammerhead because he's far too out of it to show me any leads.

If I swing by that place with the banger avocado toast, will that count as our 11th coffee date? 10th?

(In my heart the sushi place counted, ok)

Edited 2021-05-29 20:20 (UTC)

Uh huhhhh. All in the name of a good California roll. Well, it was still fun... for one of the non-tallied dates.

[ Dates that they aren't taking "seriously". And like some new chapter in whatever their story was, they weren't tearing into each other on rooftops and making stupid choices. Look at that, therapy and character building works! Felicia saw Peter more than she had in some time, and Cat seemed to cross a certain Spider's path too. Funny how that works. ]

Only if you get a side of their lemon kale salad. Extra vinagrette. And it'll count as 10, because I'm charitable.

[ And she totally may want to stretch out these usually impromptu moments with him. Don't tell anyone Felicia has a heart as big as her – ]

Have you had the "Crazy Monkey Roll?" It's amazing. Spectacular, even. Something to pencil in for Date #13 or 14, because right now I need a sushi break.

[ While these could be more "serious," Peter can't deny that it's been... nice. He's almost always on the go, navigating the tumultuous double life of Peter Parker and Spider-Man. He doesn't always have the time to just enjoy a proper meal with someone else. Having to make time as a result of the huge favor he called Felicia in for, he's never been happier to honor a great responsibility to another person.

It's good for him, sticking to something... barring all the times he does that literally. ]

I can still bring coffee, too? Not likely that I'll trip and drop all of it if... idk.

Say I high-five Daredevil a little too hard on the way here.

[ Oddly specific example, but he's heard horror stories of what befalls people transporting several coffees.

Ten minutes pass, though, before Felicia receives anything else. ]

Tracer planted. Programmed it so you can track it, too.

How's that for an invitation?

But is it sensational? Or amazing? We'll have to check the Yelp reviews, only the best for those lucky numbers.

[ He's not yelling or lecturing her about responsibility! He's not dealing with a girl in leather chasing him in spandex only. Felicia, for the most part, has been a good girl and it's almost as if she wants him to be proud of her. Letting him down can be frustrating – he's a boy scout in some instances – but... even when she's in a penthouse she mostly garnered from stolen goods and sales, she does better when she tries to impress him. ]

Please don't. The only thing that guy needs is a good rib for egg-gate. Whatever you feel like bringing, if you want to swing my way... I won't be asleep for a while.

[ She smirks at his own involvement, like tracking Hammerhead was really what she was missing from her night. Both of her cats abandoned her as soon as they stole half of her lounge chair and instead, she was up pacing on the balcony without a second thought. ]

Oh! Best one you could have given me. Well. Second best.

[ She leaves that one open to interpretation. ]

At the very least it's not Uncanny, I can tell you that.

[ Peter's not so much of a hardass that he'll give her crap for enjoying some downtime. If he was more cynical, he'd look at Felicia's evident desire to tag along with him and assume there's something else in it for her. Or that if it's just Spider she wants, nothing else matters.

But in Peter's view, those two ideas actually seem more naive than cynical. Because he's seen Felicia stick her neck out for him when she really didn't have to... and sometimes Peter thinks she underestimates herself. He knows he has, in the past. Over time, he's come to wonder if the lectures were ever really necessary. Felicia knows what's right, but simply hasn't always acted upon that knowledge.

By now, Peter knows Felicia well enough to tell she has more of a conscience than she lets on, but just doesn't want to admit it. As a guy in a mask, Peter at least knows a thing or two about maintaining appearances. ]

Me neither. This particular stakeout's made me restless instead of boring me to sleep... which is a good thing. Napping on a support beam sucks.

[ It's like he's speaking from experience, there. ]

You asking for an invitation to the Avengers or something? Never suspected that was your scene.

[ So he chooses an interpretation to push her buttons with! And smirks to himself while swinging away from Hammerhead's vicinity. Time to call ahead and make that order... ]

[ It took some time... some tragedies between them, but Felicia has ultimately changed her views on a lot of things. Her views on him in particular and still harbors some regret about things she's done to herself.

People always say dogs are more loyal, but in this instance? It was a certain kitty cat that was pretty much down for anything, so long as it wasn't stupid like a chocolate egg. Never again. Ah well, at least she has a pretty necklace hanging up on a bust-mannequin in her bedroom. ]

You need a 5-hour energy stat, unless that counteracts your whole... radioactiveness.

Eugh, never. Every time I stand next to Captain America, I feel like I'm in trouble. ...Kinda hot, actually, but – no. That's more you. More hero stuff.

I'm happy getting my cardio in leather and having some fun every so often, but my goal is retirement by 30, not fighting Skrulls on Saturdays.

I'd be bouncing off the walls after a 5 hour energy. Monster, too. Best not to invoke the "monkey's paw" yet again...

[ He quirks an eyebrow at the Captain America thing. Same, Felicia, he wants to say. Something at odds with the distinct reverence he also feels in Cap's presence, but this is altogether a thing about himself he'd rather interrogate another day! ]

Okay, so if not the Avengers, then what?

[ Oblivious as ever, he clearly doesn't get the clue. Despite how many times they've played a particularly horny game of cat and mouse, Peter can't seem to get his mind into the gutter long enough without explicit prompting. ]

What could be a better invitation than to another mission with me?

Maybe the next Marvel vs Capcom tournament. Yeah, I bet you'd like that!

[ Or... he's fucking with her. Possibly, he knows how oblivious he's been in the past, and he weaponizes that fact. ]

Enough with the monkey paw.

[ I mean, it was Captain America. That's America's Ass. Oh, wrong timeline. This horny game was like 10 years in the making by now, just go with it. ]

Let a girl have her secrets! The kind that doesn't get her in trouble. Much trouble.

[ Maybe the conversation can be less sushi and chill and more talks about preferred fighting games. ]

Sorry, more of a Smash Bros fan. Hey – do you even get royalties to that game? You're killing your brand.

[ Hello meta!!! ]

Edited 2021-05-30 20:59 (UTC)

Look, if it continues to be relevant, I'm gonna keep mentioning it!

[ He's gotta know that with the Parker luck, he'll always have a monkey's paw situation on his hands. ]

You keep your secrets, Cat, I'll keep mine.

Regarding the Capcom stuff, sorry. My NDA hasn't expired yet.

...who do you main in Smash though?

[ That can't be protected by an NDA, can it? ]

It won't be! You're just making it be!

[ Which is not the same thing as happenstance. ]

Unbelievable. You've been making me buy lunch since the first game and you're sitting on a fat passive check every month.

Who do you think? Call the cat curious.

Wishing it was just me being weird all along is a "monkey's paw" situation all on its own. Just saying.

[ If it was just Peter all the time, then it's true that he's heaping all these self-fulfilling prophecies upon himself, against his better judgment. But what if there is some mysterious force dictating Peter's fate, assigning consequences to his actions and wishes? Perhaps that same force articulates itself here and now, as we speak, intoning these very words... ]

I'm trying to save up for something special, okay. Something for you, maybe, but don't quote me on that.

(it's not a literal monkey's paw or monkey's paw-themed accessory)

Also, I bet you play Joker. Dude is a thief. And the game he's from has another cat-themed thief who's pretty damn cute, if I do say so myself.

But maybe I'm biased.

One day you'll know when to web your own mouth shut.

[ He's totally a buzzkill with the monkey paw! She's still laughing though, mainly because it just sounds ridiculous. What's bad about wanting more? Wanting more keeps you waking up every day, after all.

Felicia settles against her balcony's fence, leaning over the railing idly and enjoying the last bit of the night. ]

I know we have 9 whole coffee dates under our belts and a whole lot of UST... but Peter –

[ She's TEASING.... haha, unless. Even at this point, she doesn't let the sentimentality of 'something special' equate to a ring. She uses it as a joke, mainly because she likes him thinking she can joke in return. ]

Wrong. Close, but – I don't know anything about most of the characters. Good to know any cat-themed thief that decides to tip-toe a DMCA can catch your eye, though... hm.

As a lifelong learner, I’m open to being taught how.

[ Uh oh. Peter’s starting to get in a mood while he’s waiting to pick up the avocado toast and some coffee. Being made to wait certainly has an effect, doesn’t it? ]

Your birthday’s coming up, right? All the reason I need, Cat.

[ Yes ad hoc I am mandating this as something in this continuity lol ]

Alright. This one’s a wild card, but you are, so.

Ice Climbers.

Huh.

[ She leaves it at that, spamming a gif his way. ]

What do you ever get the lovable thief that has everything she could ever want? Hmmm... tall order. I look forward to it.

[ I mean, that just makes her smile like an idiot. ]

Wrong. What do I, and one of the characters have in common?

[ Peter leaves a like on that gif, unsure how to continue that aspect of the conversation. It seems to deserve more of a follow-up in-person. There’s a lot of hope invested in that one “thumbs-up” emoji, then— the one Felicia can see from her end of the convo. ]

You’d be surprised.

Hell, you will be surprised. Just watch!

[ He resends the same cat gif, thinking he’s funny. To nobody’s surprise, he’s also trying to seem more conniving than he and Felicia know him to be. ]

Zero Suit Samus? I mean...

She’s agile. Deadly. Dresses skintight.

She’s uh

Limber.

[ No longer thinking with his brain, it seems. Could be that he’s fresh out of it till he gets the caffeine.

At least he’s got enough wherewithal to swing through the city without ruining the bag of food (he has webbed it to dangle from his hip) and the cardboard tray of coffees. ]

You're setting my expectations high, you know. Cats can be pretty hard to please, but... maybe I'll take it easy for you.

[ He is funny - funnier than the handful of guys she's dated since they went different ways. The reality was... as much as she said his jokes were corny and annoying – they leave her laughing. Helps her take life a little less seriously. ]

Is that the one in the big bulky armor? No way. I'm giving you two more chances before you're enjoying the evening yourself. I thought you KNEW me.

Finally, a break in my streak of bad luck.

Well, it actually hasn't been much of a streak lately. Our dates have made life recently... kind of an outlier.

[ He could lay it on even thicker how much he's been enjoying coffee - hence the ease with which he's willing to transport some cafe food to Felicia's. Hopefully a relatively understated compliments satisfies, for now. Because Peter's certainly smiling, imagining how much Felicia must enjoy all his silly bullshit. ]

I mean when she's got her clothes off.

Her ARMOR off. She's wearing clothes under her armor, leaving little to the, the--

Y'know what. That's probably still not it, then.

Incineroar? That's literally an entire cat. Can't go wrong with that!

[ Felicia might begin to wonder how Peter's texting and swinging at the same time. Maybe he's so motivated to text her that he's literally sending messages between thwips. As each swing propels him into the sky, he texts one-handed while plummeting, only to shoot another thread of web before he and the coffee can go ker-splat. ]

Good outlier or bad outlier? You know you have to be specific with me!

[ Coffee was just the gateway. They share stories, in and out of suit, and feel like they're getting to know each other. Their orbits may have been on the outskirts of one another, but now they were jiving well together. It took a long time for them to get this far and she's a little annoyed that their "about us" story would involve a chocolate egg and a snooty dragon. ]

Five strikes you're out.

Not only is her hair insured for millions of dollars, wears a catsuit that shows more curves than backroad, but also hates most men.

[ That's all she knows. Thanks Wikipedia. Felicia's smirking, chewing her bottom lip with a laugh. Truth is – there's no way that she was proficient enough to keep talking about it. Felicia was not a gamer, but she knew enough. And it was fun – it was just ... easy to talk to Peter nowadays. ]

I hope you're not coming over here to talk about video games with me. You're picking the wrong girl.

So you've narrowed it down to two. I'm sure you can figure out the rest.

Ok it's GOOD. It's been GOOD, Cat.

[ He didn't even wait before sending the addendum. ]

Well, when you put it that way, this is now too easy.

Obviously Wendy Koopa!

[ Truth be told, Peter's having a hard time keeping his finger on the pulse when it comes to the state of video games. For the life of him, he can't tell you what a "live service" is. And while he knows the Switch and the PS5 are out, he still thinks Microsoft's stuck on the Xbox 360. ]

What do you take me for, some kind of sad nerd? I wouldn't just

Sorry, I hit send on accident. Was about to hit a flagpole, had to dodge. But the food's okay!

Sometimes I need some positive affirmation! You know how that is.

[ How many times did she, in her youthful DTF haze, praise the masked arachnid? Sure, even now, she insists he's one of the best guys she knows – so... to know that he says that without delay?

Yeah, she has her usual swagger about her back. ]

Horrible. Baeyonetta is in a league of her own.

[ They're both idiots, but at least he knows he's licensed in a fighting game. ]

Oh, thank God!

I'm sure that food was a fortune!

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