[texting repository] bc not everything's gotta be action

[hackitudes]

gen texts
spicy sexts
crack...
idc go wild

Comments

[clubbings]

I can't follow along with that stuff for the life of me. Had enough after a song from some kid's show got stuck in my head.

[ Then she fires away. More revenge for the egg incident, he suspects. ]

Never even suspected. I'm actually feline fine, anyway.

Speaking to a fine feline kind of does that.

[ ...a minute later, ]

That wasn't a pass. Just can't ignore our sin-ergy.

[declaw]

Join the club. Guess we're both into the thick of it.

[ She is almost 30. This is not how she should be texting, yet. Yolo? ]

That one wasn't even trying! It was a double whammy, you skipped my turn!

[ Says the woman without a comeback. Hm. ]

[clubbings]

You know if I open that link and listen to it, there’s no turning back. Might turn to prayer over this.

[ After palpating her last message, it being converted to braille like the rest on his device, he actually chuckles. ]

Do you want me to keep skipping?

Or should I be nice and give you a meowment to come up with something?

[declaw]

Get the rosary beads ready, baby.

[ All she gave him was that keen encouragement. Jesus. ]

You threw me off my groove. I need a recovery purriod.

[clubbings]

Who am I kidding? I know that song. It's already stuck in my head.

Next time I'm "into the thick of it," you'll know.

[ He certainly was "into the thick of it" back when he was too busy to help with the egg thing. ]

Was tempted to repeat the "waiting till hell freezes over" one.

But ironically, that wouldn't be... cool.

[ Ouch. He won't blame her for booing that one. ]

[declaw]

Guess I'm changing your ringtone from Running with the Devil to this.

[ They're soooooooooooo stupid. ]

You can't repeat, that's an unspoken pun rule that


...

Seriously? That was quite pawsibly the worst one yet.

[clubbings]

You set a ringtone just for me? I'm flattered.

[ It's never occurred to him to do that with anyone. It would make knowing who's who so much easier when he gets a text... and he knows just where to pull Spidey's ringtone from. For Foggy, the stuff they kept blasting when they were roommates in Columbia Law. ]

Oh. So to you, it was just pawful.

No interest in playing devil's advocate? Shame.

[declaw]

Need to know if I gotta screen a call.

[ She's ribbing! There's a few street-level heroes that have her number and vice-versa, ones that she can trust. Ones that don't make her feel less or make her want to just ditch NYC in favor of warm beaches. Whatever her relationship is with Matt, it's friendly enough and light. No complications. Simple enough. ]

Un-fur-tunately not. Not my style.

[clubbings]

Believe me, I'll leave a voicemail if it's important. Remember the last one?

[ "Cat, it's me. Spider-Man's gonna want to meet you concerning an... egg. Believe him. It's something of great significance to the Hand and the Chaste. Your expertise is needed to intercept. Now... have a good one. Fisk is colluding with Hobgoblin again, so--" and accidentally, Matt hung up. It's what he gets for trying to leave a voicemail while hanging upside down between buildings, nearly dropping the phone on accident, and accidentally hitting the button to end the call when recovering it in his hand. ]

I'd say. Goes against your purr-sonality.

Now how long do you wanna play this game of cat and mouse?

[declaw]

I drink to forget.

[ Look, all of Matt's voicemails were a headache. They were outside of each other's orbit, but still able to cause problems for one another. I mean, most of the time they're the fun problems, at least. ]

So long as we are dealing with Mass confusion, I confess we may be at this for a while.

[clubbings]

My voicemail or the incident that it led to? Never got to properly congratulate you for what you did about the egg.

Only caught the tail-end of it, but it was impressive.

[ That's nothing close to saying "sorry I missed it," but from what he said on the voicemail, his hands were pretty tied. ]

When it's gonna end? When the cat lady sings?

...I like and hate that one at the same time.

[declaw]

You pick. I accept cash, credit, or checks.

[ He may have arrived at the end, but it was more like something she wants to leave behind – Cats and Dragons don't mix. All about this certain street cred she keeps clamoring on about. ]

I hate it, but – it wasn't clawful. 6/10.

[clubbings]

How about coffee?

Kidding. Not getting tangled in that web.

[ Even if he had the chance to meaningfully interact with her, Wolverine was present. And he was giving Matt and Peter an earful for not inviting him sooner. Apparently a tussle with Fin Fang Foom was the pick-me-up Logan was looking for-- his recent mission to Eastern Europe was one hell of a downer, apparently. He wouldn't even talk about it! ]

I'm insulted you didn't rate it 666/10. I have a clear gimmick to maintain.

[declaw]

It's better that way. A bit sticky.

[ Not like that. But. At least they can be coy enough about the whole thing. Felicia has no shame and Matt is a bro. Sooooo. ]

Didn't want to summon bad juju, but maybe we're far past that point.

Scratch that, it was just a missed opportunity.

[clubbings]

Exactly. Not looking to get stuck.

[ Yeah, Matt's not worried at all. While it's difficult to forget the way they did more than kiss they shared, he's not looking to step on anybody's toes. As of late, the egg situation he brought them into was already asking a lot. ]

Missed opportunity indeed. I'm no authority on it, but I'm glad you see the light.

Clearly not too late to keep locking horns.

[declaw]

Oh, what a web we weave.

[ Look, look. They're all adults. There's only one way to solve this.

;)






Smash tourney. ]

Oh, that one isn't even a devil pun! That could be for bulls!

[clubbings]

Look, I'd rather just sit back and watch than actually participate.

[ He's trying to make a blind joke, because he literally can't watch, but he fails to realize how else that comes off.

He's also absolutely down to smash.

...smash with a capital S. The Nintendo kind of Smash. ]

Oh? So you're calling bullshit on my usage of it?

[declaw]

Uh huh. Free entertainment, but –

Are you ever going to get tired of that joke?

[ Voyeur Daredevil is not a thing, unfortunately. ]

Maybe. I feel like you could have used it. Or... could be a case of...


Deja Moo.

[clubbings]

You’ll have to believe it when you see it.

Not that I will.

[ Worse are the pains Matt has had to take to not be a voyeur in general, given his heightened senses. Nowadays it’s obviously much less of a problem, as over the years he’s gotten better at concentration. Selective hearing, of course, being a skill all its own. ]

We’re really milking this bit, aren’t we?

No signs of stopping. Not till the cows come home.

[declaw]

Jesus Christ, DD. Apparently they didn't teach you tact in law school!

[ POOR GUY. He's not a joke to her, but – there are times she does pity him. It's a rough gig. But... he is a sweetheart, most of the time. Except when he gets weird and has big life crisis going on. ]

I'm about to mooove this conversation to the deleted folder on my phone.

[clubbings]

Trust me, that’s just not in the curriculum in general.

[ First a blind joke, now a lawyer one. At least Matt can’t be faulted for taking himself too seriously, like he might have in his early days. Now he’s just milking pity as part of his ‘wounded gazelle’ act— an old habit having yet to die hard. ]

You do that and you accept udder defeat... though I have calf a mind to do the same.

[declaw]

[ This is absolutely killing time, but also killing her. ]

I really have some beef over this... I'm stubborn as a bull when it comes to losing.

[clubbings]

Then you shouldn't hesitate to grab a bull by the horns.

[ Unlike Spider-Man, Matt's not in the middle of stakeout or anything. He's actually at home, in an ice bath, recovering from a tussle with Kingpin and Hobgoblin that got really damn wild. For one thing, the two of them pissed off Venom for some reaason, and Venom was in such a blind rage that he had it out for everyone in the room-- even Daredevil! Fortunately, they set aside their differences and took down Fisk and Hobgoblin... but not till after Venom threw Matt down a stairwell in their misunderstanding.

This is a long story he's not prepared to share with Felicia. and also me liking to make shit up about the zany stuff these characters get up to

Stupid pun contests like these make for some good unexpected stress relief. ]

[declaw]

[ And for all he knows, she may be busy but – Felicia's sitting on a rooftop watching the freights roll into the docks. A few nights, she ends up alone still suited up – weighing between scratching an itch like checking out the latest MoMA entries for her own selfish score or following a police jammer like she was some hero. ]

Ohhhh, like I haven't herd that one before. Its pasture bedtime, isn't it?

[clubbings]

Nope, not in the mood for sleep.

Took a beating from Venom, so I’m taking an ice bath. He had a separate agenda against Fisk and Hobgoblin, but I was able to sic him against those two before he could kill me.

You could say Venom was seeing red.